How to convince your wife or girlfriend to have a threesome

Hello fellow male traveler. You’ve come to learn how to get your significant other to agree to a threesome. As experienced threesomers (not a word), we might have a trick or two up our sleeves that could help you out. Contrary to popular belief, it’s really not that hard to do this and be successful with it. You just need the right strategy.

Did you know that the most common sexual fantasy of all, irrespective of gender, is having a threesome? A whopping 95% of men ages 18 to 87 fantasize about threesomes according to a study by Dr. Justin Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute, for his book Tell Me What You Want. In comparison 87% of women ages 18 to 87 fantasize about the same thing – so in terms of pure statistics, your odds of convincing her are actually very good. That is, assuming you take one crucial concept to heart: putting yourself in her shoes.

Get in the right frame of mind – Hers.

The biggest mistake most guys out there makes is simply: They’re only focused on their own needs!

Your wildest dream might be seeing your wife or girlfriend with another woman and get to have sex with both. But that’s not necessarily her wildest dream. If she’s not bi- or pansexual, there’s even a good chance she’s not even into the idea of having sex with women. Instead of trying to convince her from your perspective, imagine hers instead. What experience would she like to have? Is it with a woman or a man? How would it play out? What’s your involvement?

Essentially think about what version of a threesome would be easiest to convince her of?

The goal is not necessarily to convince her to try your perfect version of a threesome, but rather get her into the idea of some threesome. Because as soon as you’ve had one, they tend to build on themselves. She’s much more likely to want a threesome that caters to your needs, if she’s tried two that catered to hers.

Here are some tips to help you get there.

Pro tip – The biggest predictor for whether you’ll get to have a threesome is having already had one or more prior. They’re addictive.

Tip #1 – Do it for the right reasons

Now, this shouldn’t really have to be said, but just in case some of you have gotten this far without getting this basic fact: If the only reason you want a threesome is so you can have sex with other women, you’re unlikely to succeed.

Sure, you might get lucky and find out your wife or girlfriend is secretly really into open relationships, poly or cuckqueaning – but odds are you’d already be aware of that and also you’re not that lucky. You’re much more likely to be one of the other 98% that won’t convince their wife or girlfriend this way, or you’re unlikely to keep your relationship for long after having successfully pushed her into a threesome she isn’t into or ready for.

Your desire for a threesome should, at least partially, be rooted in making her desires a reality – not just your own.

Tip #2 – Threesomes are the extreme sports of relationships

Before bringing up the conversation with your wife or girlfriend, do keep in mind that some will have a very adverse reaction to the idea. Yes, you should be able to express desires in a healthy relationship. But we’re also acutely aware that some of your relationships out there might not actually be that healthy.

While it is a bit of a cliché, we sadly must inform you it’s one of the true ones: A threesome won’t fix a bad relationship.

Think of threesomes as relationship extreme sports. If your relationship is healthy and solid, a threesome might be for you. If you’re on the brink of divorce or you’ve had recent or major trust issues, I’d suggest fixing those issues before doing anything like this. Threesomes is like base jumping off a building. If your relationship is not securely protected by a parachute of mutual trust and respect, it’s going to smash on the ground.

Pro tip – Think of threesomes as the extreme sports of relationships. A threesome won’t save a failing marriage, but it might spice up a slightly stale but loving one.

Tip #3 – Take one for the team

In our experience, the most effective strategy for a man to convince his wife or girlfriend to have a threesome is to choose a threesome that clearly benefits her rather than him. This has a number of benefits, key being that there’s less risk she’ll have a kneejerk jealous reaction, as what you’re suggesting may not clearly benefit you or your desires.

The most obvious such threesome: Finding another hetero guy to join you for a MMF (Male-Male-Female) threesome.

You might be thinking “No no wait – but I don’t want that! I want to have a threesome with another woman”. We get that, we do. But as we said – threesomes are addictive. Once you’ve had one, odds are you’ll have more with both men and women.

Tip #4 – Pick the low-hanging fruit

If there are several types of threesomes your wife or girlfriend might be into, we’d strongly suggest picking the easiest to achieve when pitching it. Essentially, if she’d like to try a threesome with an extra guy, but also a threesome with a bisexual woman, choose the one with the guy. Why? Because it’s infinitely easier to make a reality fast.

Think of the old adage: “Strike while the iron is hot”.

You might want to try the threesome with the bisexual woman first – hell, she might even. But odds are with zero experience, it’s going to be a while before you’re succesful with that. She might lose interest before you get there. Finding a guy on the other hand could be achieved within days.. hours even, if you’re not too picky.

Whatever gets you that initial wow-experience of a threesome first, is the one you should go for. Trust us – once she’s tried it, odds are you won’t have to do much convincing anymore.

Pro tip – When you’re inexperienced, always go for the most easily achieved experience you desire first. Even if it’s not your ideal threesome. Building experience and robustness as a couple is most important.

Tip #5 – Don’t be too prepared

Some guys make a fatal mistake I like to call “being too prepared”. Essentially, whether due to curiousty or a misguided attempt to convince their partners, many men make the fatal mistake of already having started the whole sex partner search part. They’ve already setup couple dating profiles, already have candidates in mind (usually female) and they may have even already written with other girls online – sometimes for weeks.

This is a bad strategy. Pure and simple. The odds of this going well are astronomical. You might think you’re just showing your wife or girlfriend what her options are and making it easier for her. But in reality what you’re doing is saying you don’t respect her to be part of the decision and you’ve already taken it for her. Even if she doesn’t immedately shut you down, she might not be into looking at options for something she hasn’t even consciously agreed to yet. Even worse, she might look anyway, as stopping now without looking at options would trigger a sunk cost fallacy reaction, either with you or her, creating resentment. So either way, it’s pretty much a lose/lose.

All in all, now is not the time to look at options. You can do that together, after you’ve convinced her the basic idea isn’t crazy.

Tip #6 – Give her time

Remember – you’ve thought about this for likely weeks, months or years – she probably hasn’t. So even if she might be into it eventually, pushing her is going to get you nowhere fast. You need to give her space to feel it out and show her that you’re not suggesting these things because you don’t find her attractive, but rather that you’re so into her that you want to share her with others. Getting comfortable enough in your relationship to invite an extra woman in will often require more time – especially if it wasn’t her idea or she isn’t into women sexually. So be patient.

Attributions

Post image courtesy of We-Vibe Toys – thank you.

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