Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring… apart from Carol who was having quite a fun holiday with her new Satisfyer Pro 2 air-pulse vibrator…. buzz buzz..
Yes, it’s that time of year again. Time for Christmas lights, gifts, stuffing stockings and spreading joy. If you’re like us, one of the key difficulties during Christmas is picking out the right gifts for people. Even if they’re good at writing wishlists, gift-giving can at times seem like a complicated mutual exchange of monetary value through unnecessary purchases.
Add to this a shared household economy, giving gifts to your partner(s) as an adult may start to seem a bit pointless. A lot of couples fall into the trap of just giving each other practical things they would have bought anyway. That’s not what Christmas is about.
We’re here to tell you about a better way. Give your partner(s) dirty gifts for Christmas.
The secret dirty wishlist
Sure, you need to keep up the facade of boring normalcy, so have a normal wishlist with normal boring wishlist stuff.. socks, books and stuff. Distribute that thing to all the normies.
But apart from this, we suggest you and your Christmas-happy sexual partners, make secret dirty wishlists for Christmas. What should you put on your secret dirty wishlists? Glad you asked – here are a number of options, in increasing difficulty.
Sex toys
Face it. You likely have sex toys you’d love to receive for Christmas, but there’s no way in hell you’re adding that to a wishlist you’re sending to your mom.
Being a sex-positive family is great an all, but it gets super awkward when your family member is indirectly responsible for your next orgasm.
So instead of going through all that trauma, add the sex toys you want to your secret dirty wishlist instead. People who are usually responsible for your next orgasm will gladly buy assistance for it.
One-on-one experiences
Ever wanted your partner to do that one dirty thing to you, but you’ve been reluctant to bring it up in the moment?
Instead of going through the awkwardness of asking in the moment for something your partner may not be into and getting this reaction, add it to your dirty Christmas wishlist instead.
Sure, she may still not be into it, in which case she’s probably not going to give you that gift. But maybe – just maybe – this is the year you get to try out that Furry sex you’ve been dreaming about.
These are a few of the real one-on-one experiences we’ve had on our wishlists the past years:
Sara
- Being tied to the bed and teased until I beg for sex.
- Receiving oral sex while I sext with another guy on my phone
Michael
- Starting the day with Sara on top of me in a 69 position, waking me up with a blowjob and her wet pussy in my face
- Being edged over and over again, until I beg Sara to let me cum.
- Having sex while Sara dirty-talks about her having sex with a specific female friend
You can take these wishes as far as your kinkyness can carry you. Believe me – our full lists have some seriously kinky stuff on there as well (no, I’m not sharing that 🤫😘).
The beauty of gifting one-on-one experiences like this is that it’s gifts that are free, easy to do, fully unique, encourage exploration together and that you know the recipient genuinely wants. Soo much better than socks.
So are we suggesting you gift this sort of experience on Christmas eve or Christmas morning? No.. obviously not. That would just be super awkward for everyone else there 😧
We personally allocate +/- 1 month around Christmas as the official “Dirty Christmas Gift” period. Any time during that period is fair game for a dirty surprise.
Arranged experiences
The last category of gift we put on our dirty Christmas wishlists is simultaneously one of the most fun, but also the hardest to successfully give.
It’s quite similar to the category before in that it’s sexual experiences. What ramps up the difficulty significantly is that it involves other people. Sometimes named people, sometimes unnamed.
I’m gonna be honest. Gifting these kinds of experiences usually require you to have a bit of a network of sexual partners who are up for fun experiences. But assuming you have that or you’re good at Tinder, you can create some seriously special Christmas memories.
Here are some examples from our dirty wishlists over the years (we’ve removed specific names – for obvious reasons):
Sara
- Visiting a named couple at their house for a threesome alone
- Being dominated by an experienced dom in a sex club in front of others
- A gangbang with me in the center
Michael
- A double blowjob from Sara and another woman
- A threesome with a named man
- Sara dominating a woman in front of me
You might be wondering – So how likely is it to actually arrange these? Well, all the examples above aren’t just wishes. They’re wishes fulfilled. So if you have enough of a network and a bit of persistence, it’s definitely possible.
Just as with any other experience with other people though, remember to focus on why this would benefit them rather than why it would benefit you. They are not props in your sexual experiences. While it should be a gift for your partner, you should really also aim at making it a gift for them. Otherwise they’re unlikely be to interested.
For example, instead of trying to get a random woman to agree to be dominated by Sara in front of me, she suggested it to a woman she knew had a fetish for submission and wanted to explore being submissive to a woman. So while it was a gift for me, it was simultaneously also a gift for her really.
Do that, and your odds of a hot and dirty Christmas are quite good.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Attributions
Featured photo by Nina Mercado on Unsplash
